Unfair

My life is so unfair. My sister who dropped out of college was just rewarded by having my parents buy her a car. I on the other hand have made honor roll most of my high school career graduated with a 4.3 gpa recieved a scholarship and am in still in college yet my parents wont buy me a car. My parents made a deal with me, if i recieved a certain amount of money for college they would buy me a car, well i got more than what was required of me and my parents refused to buy me a car. Yet she drops out of school and gets a car! What sense does that make! I try my hardest to be the best and she doesnt yet she is the one who always gets rewarded. I get nothing and she gets everything. I am so sick of it!

Decisions

It's funny how you can love something so much one semester and not love it the next semester, but that is my situation. I loved Wingate the first semester, I mean really love it, but second semester arrives and there has been so many issues going on. I lost friends and there is so much drama and I cannot stand it anymore. There are other reasons for my sudden disdain for the college I am attending, I am Catholic and all my friends are Protestants and although not all of them judge me, sometimes it feels like they do all the time. They are truly great people don't get me wrong they would have my back in an instant but religion is such a MAJOR part of their lives and while I love God, I don't think He plays that major of a role in my life, and that could be because I am from the North. Down South the first thing someone asks you after your name is what religion you are up north you could know a person for years without knowing what religion they are, and what denomination so I think its how I grew up. I miss the North and I no longer want to feel as if I am the outcast. I think Wingate was a good thing for me, it allowed me to see that I could make friends and that I am worthy of friends, but this last semester has had me doubting as to why I always seem to lose some. Maybe I am not that great of a person, and maybe thats why I don't have a boyfriend. Maybe I am not a nice person. Either way I don't know if this is a good place for me anymore. Depending on if I get into the school back in New York will decide on whether I come back next semester, But I don't know if I can physically or mentally do it anymore. If I go back to New York I can commute, live with my grandparents and see my father everyday, if I stay in NC I wont because my mother doesnt know I exist. Well maybe I am over exgagertaing but I get lost in the shuffle between my two sisters. I am the middle child and like many middle children often feel neglected by my parentsm, which is not their fault but there are things they could have done differntly, or kept their promises more. Today I wanted to go home but my mom would not pick me up since I live 3 hours away because of my college. But my offered to drive me to her house if my mom would pick me up. I truly believed that my mom would say yes because she knew how hard of a time I have been having yet she said no because she does not know the area and she did not want to get lost. I understand that but I could have given her directions and if anyone of my sisters wanted to go my mom without a doubt would have taken them. I'm the good one, the one that does not need anything, the one who gets lost in the shuffle so if I go back to NY the attention will be on me because it will just be my dad, me and my grandparents and even if i have to dorm I would be home every weekend since the college is only 30 minutes away.